Patrick's Latest--posted by Tina

Today at work I got this text from Patrick:

"So... While I was unicycling this morning, i came upon a rather rocky and queerly steep descent. As i maneuvered down this death trap, i found myself rather tilted in a forward position. so great was my angle in comparison to the mountain, that the only means to escape an abrasive fate was to bail. And so i did, greatly underestimating the grade of the hill i found myself, patrick, hurtling down this hill at top speed. Fortunately i had a camel back on, unfortunately, my shirt was not on due to it being tied in a shawl around my noodle. Needless to say i tripped, turned so i landed on my shoulder, and proceeded to slide down the mountain. In bare skin. When i finally came to a halt, and regained consciousness. It appeared the camel back had spared my back from a more gruesome fate, alas the upper arm and shoulder looked like they've been attacked by a bear. Delicious. I continued on my way, feeling slightly more manly than previously."

So, there you have it. What makes it better is that he informed me that he concocted this wonderfully elegant message while sitting on the toilet. Information that both you and I didn't need to know...

I don't know if this math is right but according to it I am 110% Utahan.

Do this even if you don't live in Utah! It's fun to see how Utahan you are!

You know what Fry Sauce is

If one day it's 30 degrees and snowing but the next it's sunny and 50 or 60 degrees it's normal weather to you

You know what it means to Sluff

Your neighbors are Mormon

You are Mormon

When you say 'Mountain', you don't pronounce the 't'

You usually can't play with friends on Monday because you have family night

You sometimes wear shorts and a sweatshirt if it's cold outside

You've never had a day off of school for a snow day

You like country

You get more than 300 inches of Snow in the mountains and its still a drout

Now that you're done, add up all the ones you are and times it by 10.